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Boys Boys Boys

February 6, 2009
by

In December, I met a guy, the brother of a friend of mine, and we hit it off. He doesn’t live in Boston anymore, but he comes every two weeks or so to see his family for a day or two. This past week, he came specifically to see me. When I met him, I was aware he was older than me by quite a bit, but it wasn’t until last week that I was told just how much older he is than I am. We had a great time the other night, and we’re going on a “date” on Monday. It’s the first real date I’ve been on in over a year. I’m a little uncomfortable though- how much of an age difference is too much? And should a couple care what other people think if they’re happy?

We’re obviously in very different places in our lives; I’m in college, and he’s changing in the process of changing his career path. He’s also divorced. At what point do you think these basic differences can come between a couple? I mean, we’ve only met twice, but I’ve already considered the fact that actually getting into a relationship with this man is completely out of the question, and so I wonder: despite how much fun we have together, is it worth it to even see him at all? It’s not like dating around with college-age guys who have approximately the same goal for a relationship. If you’re just dating, that’s all it is, if it gets serious, you talk about where it may lead, and if it lasts, you figure some things out after college. However, the general consensus is that the ideas of marriage or children are far from anyone’s mind, for the time being anyway, and there’s an understanding that there’s a long way to go. With a man who has already been married and divorced, how can I ask him to put aside thoughts that pertain to the place he is in his life?

Why can I only find men who are so completely out of place in my life that it doesn’t even make sense for me to see them?

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